so tired

I am almost beyond words at this point.

I am just so at a loss of what to even do in my life anymore. I love Tom but I hate how he treats the kids - like they're something that drags his life down not the blessing that they are. He can't deal with any of it EVER and every damn day is another yelling fest where he mentally brain-fucking my kids. It's just not fair to them and I honestly have no idea why they love him and idealize this man so much. He's suck a prick to them. Then one of his twitter friends tweets how he's been working hard and misses his kid and how he's gonna go home and play cars with him! Why are my sweet babies are stuck with someone who over and over again can't understand that they are fucking only 2, 4, and 6! They are not teenagers or adults and can not behave the way you want! UGH!

So yeah, writing this from a dark bathroom in the Westin at another vacation ruined. He doesn't know why he bothers to "do nice things" for the boys... I just wonder why I even bother with him at all anymore.